Ray

I haven't blogged forever, mostly because i had no desire. I can't sleep and thought maybe i should blog about my baby ray. I found Ray my awesome black lab starving and bleeding, after a long battle we were able to keep Ray and give her a better home. When i got married she came with me to my husbands house along with Dozer (my other big dog) they have never been separated since. Because of Rays abusive past she had a hard time with not running away. No matter how hard we tried or how good we treated her, she feared for her life and just ran. Wherever she went Dozer went. Ray got out recently by chewing through our fence and of course Dozer followed. She then got hit by a car who just drove away because people are sooo great. someone called dispatch (anonymously, which makes me think it was the person who hit her) when the ordinance compliance guy came to help Ray, Dozer was there protecting her. We took Ray to the vet where we waited to find out if she would have to be put down or if she would have a chance. when we got the news that the surgery for her broken leg and damaged pelvis would be $800-900 it crushed me. There was no way i could pay that. So yesterday we went to the vet and saw Ray one last time before she was put to sleep. The vet asked me if i wanted to watch or not, i don't think he wanted me to, but i needed that closer. It was so hard to see my friends life slip away, i honestly feel like i killed her. Dozer can't stay outside along long because he'll just howl and howl. It breaks my heart. I am having the hardest time forgiving myself. I don't know how people cope when they get in situations where they have to "pull the plug" on family members and others. This was just my dog and i feel so horrible. I have so much sympathy for those who are faced with this situation in their family. i don't know if I'm making sense because it's kind of late. I can't sleep. I'll try to do a happier blog soon.


Here is the last picture i got with Ray